So after the Richard situation, I decided to stop moping about, and make the most out of my university experience. He wasn’t the first guy to take the piss out of me, and deep down inside, I definitely knew that he wasn’t going to be the last. I was going to be at EVERY and ANY rave or house party in my city and to be honest anywhere in the UK 😂. I started drinking more, going out more, and buying new dresses every week just for raves. I was literally travelling across the whole of the UK just to party, that of course came with more attention from men which was fun and I quickly started to forget about Richard . All in all, I was just happy with being around my friends more.
As I mentioned earlier, I started meeting more people lol aka more guys 😂, in my year and also the years above me. Majority of them thought that I was visiting my friends or coming down just to rave in the city of my uni, which I would like to think made them intrigued by me and made them want to get to know me even more. However, I was extremely careful with not giving out my number to anyone that I felt knew Richard as he was very popular. I decided to just not give out my number to anyone in the years above me 🤷🏾♀️, easy.
A prime example, was when I attended a rave on a Tuesday night after leaving the library. I wasn’t even meant to go, I was just going to collect something from my friend Melissa, but she had gone into the rave before I had got there. I decided to go to try and find her because it was only 3 pounds to get in and it was a super casual rave. I was wearing a pair of jeans and a vest top and I had long braids going past my bum. As I was walking about trying to find her, I felt a hand gently grab my forearm, I looked at the persons hand on my forearm and then looked up to see who it was. I couldn’t believe who it was, no, it wasn’t Richard (*eye roll*), it was another guy.
I had seen this guys face years before as he attended my friends college in London, I remember my friend stalking her crushes facebook page at the time and he was in one of the pics, I’d also see him on campus few times. I’m so sure this guy could get any girl he wanted at uni because he was so good looking. He was in the year above me and from what I heard was really smart. He was tall, not too hench, had good teeth and of course dark skinned, he was so fineee 😍.
He leaned in and whispered in my ear and asked if he could speak to me for a minute. You won’t believe what I done. Any guesses ??, I released myself from his hand and apologised and said that I was in a hurry. I think I was star struck to be honest 😂🤣, because I definitely wasn’t in that much of a hurry. Prior to this happening, I had only seen this guy a handful of times, however, after this happened, I saw him EVERYWHERE, the supermarket, library, corner shop and the train station. He would literally just stare at me, not in a horrible way but just stare. He never approached me again, possibly due to pride or his ego. Damn I messed up.
He would sit across from me in the library and just stare at me to the point where myself and my friends nicknamed him “starer”👀👀👀 cos he just wouldn’t stop staring at me. I regretted not at least a having conversation with him cos he was beautiful. It probably just wasn’t meant to be, but I definitely started reconsidering whether or not giving out my number to the guys in the year above me was that much of a smart decision 😂🤣.
At the time, in uni, guys didn’t really make an effort with girls and it sucked, or maybe I just wasn’t meeting the right guys. I loved going to the cinema and just experiencing things, whether that be bowling, playing golf, baking and painting. It was very rare for uni boys to suggest any of the above, and that’s just me going from my experience and from my friends experiences. Guys back then didn’t like doing those things or didn’t think myself of the girls around me deserved treatment like that. Going out clubbing or to a house party 3-4 times a week to get drunk or to get dragged up and danced on by different guys just got tiring. I wanted princess treatment and I wanted it now ! I was also tired of hearing ” When are you coming to see me ?”, ” Can you cook ?”. Urgh🤢. Guys, please have shame and if you don’t have shame, go and find it quickly.
So as time went on, I reverted back to my old ways. I hardly came out of my room and a lot of my friends started to get annoyed at me for being “boring”, but the thought of me having to put on make up and get drunk vs chilling in my room watching Game of Thrones… well…lets just say it wasn’t a hard decision lol. My friends always had a motive for me and always tried to make sure that I left my room, but on this particular day when Veronica suggested that we go out to a house party on the other side of our city I wasn’t up for it at all. I just had a weird feeling about the night.
I explained to Veronica that I wasn’t really feeling up to it because I had a weird feeling but she just thought I was making up another excuse and wasn’t letting me worm my way out of it. “Don’t start your sh** , T you’re coming, now get ready”.
We started getting ready for the house party with another one of our friends Savannah which was a vibe. My room was always the pre-drinks spot, we started drinking a bit earlier to get ourselves in the mood and it was so much fun. We took so many videos and pictures and we all looked cute, our instagram likes were popping off lol. We got ready and made our way to the house party which was being held at Veronica’s friends house
We decided that one person would pay for cab on the way there and another person would pay for cab on the way back. It was just easier that way instead of everyone trying to calculate their share of the cab. So, I paid for the cab there. The cab drive went by really quickly and we were just talking about the guys we we feeling in uni and who we thought was going to be at the house party.
We got to the house party and it was popping off. Guys and girls were whining on each other and there were girls literally doing handstands on the wall. We decided to go and get drinks and went to dance too. I remember leaving Veronica and Savannah and went to the kitchen to get more alcohol and heard “RDX-Broad out” come on. This was one of my favourite songs and I couldn’t help but start dancing, before I knew it, a random guy came up behind me and we started dancing together. He wasn’t my type at all but he appeared to be good vibes and he could definitely move his waist, so we danced for a few songs during the house party.
Veronica’s friend Hannah who was having the house party, was dating a guy from London and they were always having problems in their relationship, to the point where they would have physical fights. So anyway, Hannah got drunk and was having an argument with her boyfriend on the phone and he sounded like a nutter to be honest said that he would drive down from London to our uni just to argue with her her in person. She was drunk and upset so I’m sure you can guess that she was all over the place. Veronica left to go and console her, Savannah went to visit her friend who lived in the same students halls and I stayed in the house party catching a vibe and speaking to some of my friends in the party.
The house party started to get dead and people were going home, so I wanted to leave too. I remember reaching in my pocket for my phone to message Veronica that I wanted to leave but I realised that my phone had died. I went to her friends room to see if they were there but no one was there. Where were they ? What was I meant to do now?
I went back to the living room and told one of my friends that if Veronica came back, to tell her I was leaving. It was around 3 am and he looked at his phone and said “T, just stay, it’s late.I don’t think you should be walking about at this time. Plus your phone is dead”
I told him that I would be fine and that I really just wanted to go home.
The city that we lived in wasn’t known to be dangerous but I guess my friend thought I was just living life on the edge by deciding to go home alone. I was wearing a leather jacket, a black mesh top, jeans and trainers. I didn’t think anything would happen to me because I was dressed pretty plain and was covered up. Not that it should matter, but you know as a woman its just one of those things I had in the back of my mind. I’d always considered myself to be someone that was street smart, but looking back, it was a very stupid decision.
I left the accommodation and made my way home, making sure to walk on the main road where I could be seen and avoided all short cuts. The city was mainly motorways, dual carriageways and side roads. I didn’t think anything of the walk home as I assumed that because it was a Friday night that there would be a lot of people – students in particular out partying… I was wrong !
I didn’t have my card on me and the cash that I did have I used it for cab there. My phone was dead and it was a good 35 mins walk home. It sounds like a long time to be walking but walking around for that long in my city was normal, so I set out for my walk.
It was the longest walk ever, I couldn’t talk to anyone of the phone,I didn’t have music, I had nothing. Not that I should have been walking alone in the dark listening to music anyway, but you get what I mean. For some strange reason no one was out, it was so quiet… it was a ghost town. This had never happened, my city was always busy.
Guess the funny feeling that I had earlier on made sense now lol.
I cut through a car park and reached the city centre and I knew that I was at the half way mark…YES. 💃🏾🥳
I continued walking and saw a group of boys, maybe 5 to my left, out of the corner of my eye. I played it cool and continued to walk in the direction of my accommodation. I could tell that they were not university students and were locals just by the way they were talking and dressed.
I was on the opposite side of the road and was about side by side with them and then out of nowhere all I heard was
“ Oi, excuse me”
I pretended that I couldn’t hear them and continued my walk. I’m usually not rude but it was 3am and there was no one else around. Now wasn’t the time to be getting acquainted with anyone.
I was hoping they would just get the point but it didn’t stop there
One of the guys yelled out again
“Oi, I’m talking to you”
Again I ignored him
I didn’t react and kept walking because I was clearly outnumbered and very unsafe. There was no one else around.
He didn’t stop, he yelled out again
“Oh what, you think you’re too nice…watch”
My heart started beating fast because I could tell something bad was about to happen. I was already speed walking and I heard the foot steps of people not too far behind me. I turned around and the group of boys were following me. These were also the times were people were going missing in the city or were getting acid thrown in their face.
I saw a group of older people coming outside of a chicken and chip shop that was closing, there were 3 men and 3 women and they appeared to be couples. They looked about mid 30s and were getting into a cab. They were the only people I saw on this long road so I ran to them for help.
I literally screamed “help me please those boys are following me”. As I was talking to one of the guys out of the couples, the boys that were following me stopped a few meters away, I turned to the right and could see them watching me talk to the guy.
Can you believe that the group that I ran to didn’t help me ? I’m sorry but that is so evil, they literally threw me to the wolves. He said “Sorry, we’re going somewhere”. My heart dropped because I knew I was on my own again. The 3 couples got into the cab and left and at this point the boys knew that I was helpless and alone and started following me again. The couples saw the boys from a distance hovering around , looking in our direction and still decided to leave me alone by myself at 3am in the morning.
The group of boys didn’t stop and continued shouting “oi, oi, oi” down the road, laughing and sniggering at me.
At one point I felt like giving up because, I didn’t even do anything to them and they were still following me. Why didn’t those couples help me?, I felt so defeated, why didn’t I just stay at the house party? Growing up, my mum always told me that if I felt as though I was in danger, and if no one was around that I should always walk in the middle of the road.
I was a good amount of meters in front of them and I could still hear them talking and laughing. They wanted me to know that they were following me and their laughs got louder whenever I looked back at them. Maybe I should have just responded and then none of this would have happened?
I had to think fast
I didn’t know what was gonna happen so I started running in the middle of the road and trying to make cars notice me, there wasn’t that many cars but I was trying to draw as much attention to myself as I could because I honestly didn’t know what to do. It was all that I could think of
I ran in front of a car and the car stopped in the middle of the road. Panting heavily, I ran to the drivers side window and it was a group of boys. I could tell that they were older than me and appeared to be university students.
The driver wound down his window and said “Yo, miss”.
I was trying to catch my breath, but was struggling to calm down. They told me to calm down and asked what was wrong and if I was okay. Finally, someone who cared.
There were in a polo and there was 4 of them. They all had on hoodies and hats down to their eyebrows so I couldn’t really see their faces. I explained to them what was happening and they looked back and saw the boys hovering around. They told me to get in the car and that they would drop me home…. Errrmmmm🥴
I was grateful don’t get me wrong, but I wasn’t 100 percent sure on getting into a car with 4 guys in hoodies either. Mate, the night was just a nightmare. What was I meant to do? Was I meant to get into the car with 4 guys I don’t know and can’t even see properly or deal with the guys that were chasing me?
I declined the guys offer of dropping me home and told them where I lived and at this point I was roughy 15 mins away. They drove their car slowly next me to give me enough time to leg it and run home as they could tell that I wasn’t comfortable getting into the car. The driver asked for my number and said that since I didn’t want to get in the car that he would stay on the phone with me until I got home so that he knew that I was safe.
I was grateful because he didn’t have to do that
I told him my phone was dead and showed him and he looked at me with a look of disappointment. He insisted that I gave him my number and for me to call him when I had charged my phone and got home safe.
The group of boys following me stopped when they saw the car driving slowly near me. They drove slowly beside me for as long as possible and as soon as I walked under the overpass bridge, I ran all the way home. I got home, locked my front door and bedroom door and after about 5 minutes I called the guy and let him know that I was home. I thanked him and he gave me some advice on how my phone should have been charged and that I should have gotten a cab home, we laughed and I thought that was it but the conversation turned into something else. He introduced himself as Tyrone, told me he was in 3rd year and asked to take me to the cinema the next day which was a Saturday.
What on earth was going on ? I really appreciated the gesture, as I mentioned earlier that guys didn’t suggest actual things to do, so it was very refreshing. I couldn’t see his face but I knew that he could have possibly stopped me from getting jumped, so I agreed.
His WhatsApp DP was a picture of a thumb so I didn’t have a way of knowing what he looked like and I didn’t want to ask either.
He updated his profile picture the next day, hours before we were meant to meet and this is where it all went wrong …
Comment down below if you’ve ever regretted not giving out your number or approaching someone. Also your experience if you’ve been catfished. Feel free to send in your dating experiences to Naijababegoesdating@gmail.com. Remember this is a judgement-free zone and posts can be submitted anonymously ☺️
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