Hiya, I’m going to share a dating horror story about a guy who made me pay for dinner on the first date after begging me for months to go on a date with him. It all started in Birmingham when I was out with my friends celebrating one of their birthdays. We attended a rave called Barfest which was a big university rave where everyone wore the same t-shirt but in different colours. I travelled down from Manchester for it and so did a lot of other people, there was so many people in Birmingham for it. People who were not even in university drove down for it. The rave happened to get shut down early due to security reasons I believe, so everyone was just out wandering the streets of Birmingham. I was single and there were a lot of tall guys who looked good, so I was definitely looking out for anyone who caught my eye. I’m quite tall so finding guys who were as tall as me or taller was always a problem. As I was walking back to the apartment that myself and my friends had rented, I felt someone grab my arm.
It was a black guy with muscles and tattoos all over his body, he was not that tall but he was the same height as me so I didn’t mind. Apart from his height, he was my type to the T. He walked my friends and I back to our apartment whilst we stayed towards the back of the group to speak privately. Most of it was us just saying how attractive we found each other and how sad we were that the rave got shut down so early. We were both tipsy and he kept on mentioning how many drinks he would have bought me in the rave, which I felt was cute. All in all it was just a light conversation. I got to my apartment and we ended up exchanging numbers and hugged before he left.
We ended up speaking for a few months, just getting to know each other more and he asked me out on a date. He was from Lewisham and I had family that lived in Essex so we had agreed that London would be the meeting spot. Our working schedules were manic and it was a thing of where we were both never free when the other person was, but he was persistent which was nice.
I came down from Manchester to Essex to see my family and he just so happened to be off from work that week which was great. He planned the whole date and told me that we were going to go to Vapiano’s and to the cinema. He said he chose to do both because he knew that I loved going to the cinema and that I loved pasta. I hadn’t been on a lot of dates so I thought it was really thoughtful how he incorporated two things that he knew that I loved.
The day of the date came and we were going to the Vapiano’s in Oxford Circus, so I planned my outfit earlier on in the day and planned the time that I would leave my family house in Essex. He lived in Lewisham so I knew that it wouldn’t take him that long to get there. I left my family house on time but there were a lot of train delays so I knew that I was going to be late. I informed him that my train was delayed and he was very understanding. Although, he kept on calling me and I didn’t realise until I had come out of the train station, so instead of calling him back I started pace walking to the restaurant. I was sweating like crazy trying to make it and was exactly 22 mins late, I know it was bad but I tried my best to keep him updated when I could.
When I walked into the restaurant, I saw him sitting in the foyer and I apologised for being late which he seemed cool with. He hugged me and put out his arm to usher me to the till area to collect our cards, which we would use to order our food and drinks. In Vapiano’s you always got free bread so there was a good amount of food on the table. Please note that Vapiano’s was not an expensive restaurant and a plate of pasta was about 11 pounds max.
We spoke for a while, and there were a few times when there were awkward silences but for the most part, the date went well in my eyes. He finished his food quickly and even ate all of my bread that came with my meal and then got up from the table. I asked him where he was going and he said that he would be going to the toilet and would be back in a minute.
I didn’t pay any attention to the direction that he went in, but when he came back he asked if I was ready to go to the cinema now. We got to the foyer and the woman at the till reached out her hand to collect our white cards which had our orders on them. I noticed that he didn’t have his white card that she gave us on him so I looked at him with a puzzled look on my face. With his hands in his pockets he then proceeded to say “Oh I’ve already paid for my stuff”, “I paid on the way back from the toilet”, “You have to pay for you own meal because you were late haha”. He was laughing whilst he said it but I didn’t find it funny at all, how could this guy who had been practically begging for a date ask me to pay for my meal. I couldn’t believe it.
I tried to shake it off but I was fuming. I had never experienced anything like this, I basically came down from Manchester and spent so much money getting to the date just to pay for my own pasta.
We left Vapiano’s and made our way to the cinema. He was trying to spark up conversations but I wasn’t in the mood at all. I brought out my phone and messaged my older sister telling her what had happened, and for her to call me saying there was a family emergency that I needed to come home for, seeing as he wanted to play games.
My sister called, and being the actress that I am, I performed. “Oh my gosh, is she okay”, “Oh no, I’m going to make my way now “. I looked over at him and he looked so confused, he probably knew that I was lying but he took the piss, so oh well. I explained to him that I had to leave and he seemed pretty bummed out about it and asked if we could stop by Macdonalds because he wanted to get a Mcflurry.
We got to the Macdonalds and he ordered his Mcflurry and asked if I wanted one. I gave him such a dirty look and said no because now I knew that he was just being a cheapskate, because why didn’t he offer to pay for my meal at Vapiano’s. After that, he followed me to the train station and I made my way home.
I contemplated blocking him, but he messaged me when I got home and asked why I was being off with him, so I didn’t hold back and so told him the truth. He apologised and promised to make it up to me but it just made me question his character and why he done it in the first place. I saw him out at a concert a few months ago and we ignored each other
Was I too harsh?
Post submitted by Rebecca from Manchester
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